On the surface, it looked like the debut LP from Swedish sextet Surviving The Charade bears all the hallmarks of a great debut album, given their fearsome live reputation and the production input of Jon Mitchell, known for his previous work with the likes of Architects and Enter Shikari. I also desperately wanted to believe that they were having a bit of an in-chuckle by listing themselves as “disneycore” on their official page. Unfortunately, it all becomes crystal clear mere seconds into the short title track ‘We’re Never Coming Home’ that its not a joke. At least not a funny one.
The handful of good ideas here are plagued by the underlying synths and production touches that give it that unmistakable air of a prime time kiddie television theme. Sparkly, glittery, jingle jangle nonsense. ‘Shout Walls Shout’ and ‘Above The Sky’ are further testament to this unfortunate truth. The cleaner verse melodies, hybridising Asking Alexandria and The Jonas Brothers (yes, The Jonas Brothers) sound jarring and confused amidst the slicker, heavier edge tackled in the rest of the track. Daniel Rotsam’s screams are vastly off putting on ‘Shotgun Wedding’ – his voice seemingly cracking in a pre-pubescent fashion every other line.
There’s sure hints of Yashin throughout ‘Here We Stand’ and ‘Broken Glass’, but nothing on offer that really suggest they’ve anything new to add to this done-to-death genre’s archives. The same can be said for album finisher ‘The Night We All Forgot’, which brings the record to an unceremonious close. A diluted take on pre-teen emo rock that packs no surprises and feels borderline lazy in its inability to do so.
It’s not to say there aren’t a couple of better tracks on this album, most of which appear in the latter half. The curiously named ‘The Diary Of Frosty Jack’ boasts a number of pretty decent Shikari-esque moments in its slightly more tasteful blend of electronica and groove metal. It’s still drawn back by similar vocal issues and a clumsy verbose chorus, but packs fewer of the silly touches seen in the efforts prior. The same can be said for ‘The Dance For Messiah’ and ‘Like Animals’, both of which groove on the strengths of the band’s guitarists, armed with a series of stand out riffs that brings BMTH circa ‘There Is A Hell, Believe Me I’ve Seen It’ to mind. Albeit, they’re lost in the mess that is the majority of this album. A frustrating listen that careers and crashes on the weaknesses of the two frontmen and short comings of on-the nose, flamboyant arrangements. You can label this whatever you want, but simply put, it just doesn’t work. Give it a miss.
2/5
‘We’re Never Coming Home’ by Surviving the Charade is out now.
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Words by Joe Danher
