For this edition of “Tour Tales” we’re taking a slightly different approach. Rather than having a band tell us what they’ve been up to on the road, Ryan Price from Worcester punk rockers Fights and Fires has provided us with a useful list of fast food tips for touring bands.
Having toured the UK and Europe numerous times, and as we speak, the band are heading to France for a run of shows. Since forming in 2008, Ryan has visited his fair share of good and bad fast food joints, so he is definitely the man to give us a guide to fast food on the road.
10. Leon – Eurotunnel Terminal Folkstone, England.
We begin with a relatively new place we discovered this year, a fast food restaurant called Leon. The Eurotunnel acts as a cheaper and quicker alternative to crossing the channel, especially with a 9 seater van in tow. But once check in has been completed, there is time to kill before you can get on the great underwater train. The Eurotunnel offers the usual restaurants, supermarket chain stores and newspaper stands. But once you see past all the franchises and chain brands, there lies Leon. The tag line reads “Naturally Fast Food” – immediately packs of grapes and rice cakes come to mind. But no, the spirit of fast food lies within Leon but without lickings of grease. Leon’s kebabs, burgers, curries and chips get the thumbs up over Burger King.
9. Cedar House Kebab and Pizza – Limerick, Ireland
In ninth place we have a typical fast food place, with the usual grease hole hits including pizza, chicken, burgers and kebabs. It was the last show of our Irish tour back in 2011, and as we do, we went for fast food after the show. Phil, our singer, had a pizza which to this day he claims is best pizza he has ever eaten. He never wants to eat there again incase it doesn’t live up to it’s high standards.
8. Istanbul Kebab – Dunfermline, Scotland
Around the corner from PJ Molloys in Dunfermline, lies another great fast food restaurant. The place where I lost my calzone virginity and had a 20 minute foodgasm, a place that stains my memory in grease. The pizza is brilliant, but what makes this calzone awesome is that they top the top side with tomato sauce and cheese, so you get a pizza within a pizza! The use fresh and flavoursome ingredients, fried in grease which is just what you want after throwing a guitar over your head for the last hour.
7. Malones Bakery – Edinburgh, Scotland
This place is AWESOME. Think Greggs but open till 3am and not terrible. You wouldn’t of thought that a cheese and ham pasty would be just want you want after a show and ten thousand beers, but yet, it completely hit the spot.
6. KFC – Mainz, Germany
I know, I know, a chain company, that dreaded franchise! The reason the Kurnal and his fried chickens make this list is because they serve the food on plates! Not in a bucket, not in a box, on a plate! Oh, and they put chilli and cheese on the fries – these German guys have got it figured out! Oh and where else could you get a robot that takes out dirty trays? Yeah, you guessed it, here! Check it out on YouTube!
5. Kebab Place – Coretex Berlin, Germany
So you’ve just spent 50€ on a bunch of records, you need somewhere to eat a greasy kebab but you need the veggie option for the drummer and you want it just outside the busy city centre? Opposite Coretex Records lies a humble man selling kebabs and falafel. For just 3€ you can have the tastiest, freshest kebab in Berlin, with a bottle of beer.
4. A1 Pizza Club – Zagreb, Croatia
When we play the Croatian capital, it doesn’t matter which venue we play or who we play for, we always go to A1 Pizza Club for dinner! They do an awesome pizza sandwich – take a pizza, then take another pizza, flip it upside down, and place it on top of the other pizza. It’s extremely filling so you can save it for breakfast to get rid of the taste of toothpaste.
3. Munchies – Worcester, England
Time for some home town love… Munchies opened in 2012 in an old shoe shop, where you would of got your Kickers shoes from to only scuff them the next day much to your mum’s dismay. It is sandwiched in-between 4 of Worcester’s music venues, selling Peri Peri chicken, it could compete with Nandoes, or just bog standard fried. Everything is at incredible prices and the wrestling is always on the TV!
2. Atacolypse Food Truck – Leipzig, Germany
It’s nice to know that after the impending Apocalypse, that next door to the Black Label pub in Leipzig there will be one food truck open selling 100% all vegan burritos, tacos, enchiladas, etc. When we ate here, a burrito called the “meat grinder” blew my mind and gut, it was freakin’ huge! Vegan’s know how to pile the grease on the goods!
1. Big Johns – Birmingham, England
This is the Mecca of fast food. Their branches span the width and breadth of the West Midlands. The main restaurant is near Birmingham City Football ground,. They claim to be the UK’s first Drive-thru fish and chip shop. They have kebab, fried chicken, paninis, burgers, curries, and the pizza is especially great. But the reason Big Johns is my number one is because of the 20” pizza. Yeah, twenty whole inches of dough, meat, veg, sauce, grease and anything else they can find to stick on it.
Fights and Fires’ split with Idle Class is out now on Blackstar Foundation.
