Album Review: Lowlife – Stranded on Retard Island

imageAvoid this album at all costs. It’s an awful racket (without sounding like someone’s mum) it contains nothing of interest, and despite trying incredibly hard to come across as menacingly as possible, it’s just utterly dull. In fact we’re not even sure it deserves to be called an album. Is this some sort of internet in-joke? Is this even music? What’s more hilarious is some record label is actually releasing this in physical form! Wow.

Thankfully most of the tracks are under two minutes so it’s all over pretty quickly and you can never listen to it again. You know the sort of people that make this kind of music; middle-aged men that still think Minor Threat are the greatest thing to happen ever.

<a href=“” data-mce-href=“”>Stranded on Retard Island by lowlife</a>

There really are no redeeming features at all, it’s just absolute dirge and every song just merges into one big long noise-fest whilst some horror sort of tries his hand at some hardcore singing. The album title should’ve set off some alarm bells, but needless to say we gave it a listen and frankly wish we hadn’t. But someone has to sit and listen to the bad in the off chance we might discover a diamond in the rough.


‘Stranded on Retard Island’ by Lowlife is available now.

Lowlife links: Facebook|Bandcamp

Words by Colin Henderson


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